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Forgiveness

Forgiveness has three aspects: 
    Forgiving someone, Hurt, Apology
  1. To forgive anyone for having wronged 
  2. To ask for forgiveness from the one whom we have 
  3. To forgive yourself
Of the three, I believe that the last one is the hardest. Forgiving those who seemed to have wronged us is better than asking for forgiveness. With the passage of time when the initial pain they caused us starts to become dull and distant and because we see they do not repeat their old habits, because we see that there is a genuine change in them, and that they apologise and seek us for forgiveness enthusiastically, excited and genuinely we find it more convenient to forgive them. It's better to give them a second chance. We replay all the memories of the good times with them in our heads and use this positivity to cancel out one or two actions of negativity they have done.
With the passage of time, and with changing circumstances, and with them and ourselves changing, this is the simplest and perhaps the easiest kind of forgiveness. Furthermore, when we forgive a human our ego feels good, dominant, noble and validated. Its a high for many people, and when we forgive, ego or not, we do feel good. However, since we never know the whole thing about someone, we should owe other people the benefit of doubt, making it easier for us to forgive.
It is much more difficult to ask for forgiveness because we must downsize our ego here, feel modest, apologize for our negative actions or words, pledge, implicitly or explicitly, that we will not replicate our past habits, become insecure, lose our pride, self-esteem, shame and forgiveness. But if we could, we wouldn't only win the people's heart, we would have developed and evolved into a higher vibration.
Finally, it is the hardest thing to forgive, because we really know what we said, and we know that at this time we always had an option not to do or doing such things. But, we agreed that ... where other people were concerned, we had no influence of their emotions, words and deeds. In this situation, we can't even say that because it's for ourselves. We have to accept full responsibility, we confess that we were wrong, we have a different choice with different implications, we feel the shame and guilt of our choices, we blame ourselves, we feel miserable, we are weak, we apologize and regret, we vow never again, and we leave that to go away. But sometimes we are guilty of acts or words that might have had a devastating effect on others concerned. Our words or actions might have destroyed others, in many ways. Our words or actions might have caused someone to get depressed, hurt or even hurt themselves. We could have sent someone to jail or split up a family, by our words and actions. And in our minds, we know that we alone are accountable and that we could have done nothing. That makes it even harder to forgive ourselves, almost impossible.
Yet we have to forgive ourselves, for we did what we thought was the best decision at that moment when we spoke or did something inactable; with all the knowledge, details, experiences and wisdom we had at the time we decided. We know better now and we'd make a better choice. Nonetheless, a stronger and more rational decision today may seem smart, but a few years later it could seem false. It's really no solution and no sure way to get it right at all times. We are people, we have deeply seated values, circumstances, social and peer pressure, complex cultural backgrounds, and our own unconscious and aware minds. The only way is to make sure that we are people and to fail is sinful, but to apologize is spiritual whether this is about punishing ourselves or others. The most important way is grace.

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28 Comments

  1. Forgiveness is definitely an interesting thing! I think you shared some really insightful info! My motto, forgive but don't forget. It really is amazing when you do forgive or get forgiveness what a weight is lifted!

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  2. It's hard to forgive and forget. I'm still learning about this!

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  3. Forgiveness can be such a hard thing to do. But it's also very freeing!

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  4. I feel like forgiving yourself is the most difficult thing in forgiveness. Saying "I forgive you" can be extremely hard as it wont happen unless and until you actually do.

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  5. Great information about fogiven when i read it then i understand how many times i forget the mean of forgiven.

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  6. I'm working on forgiveness for a big wrong that was done to me. I'm having an incredibly hard time with it and taking it one day at a time.

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  7. I agree that forgiving yourself is the hardest, as we are so tough with ourselves. We should give ourselves a break from time to time and show self love more.

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  8. Forgiveness is a very big topic! and we should start by ourselves! however sometimes it's not easy ! forgiving others, sometimes make things more complicated , as they think they can re-do the same mistake again and again. Thank you so much for sharing this post!

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  9. To err is to human, and to forgive is to be Spiritual! Compassion really takes cultivating, but is essential for healthy relationships and inner peace too.

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  10. What a lovely post! I like this discussion on forgiveness -- it is really difficult to forgive yourself. The situation pays itself out in your mind over and over. It takes forgiveness to make it stop!

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  11. Great read. I am constantly trying to forgive others so God can forgive me. Once you forgive the release can change your life.

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  12. My mom always told me that forgiveness is more for me than for them! It’s hard for me to forgive when I’ve been hurt, but I know it’s not doing me any good to live with it!

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  13. I'm really struggling with forgiveness right now. Someone close to me really hurt me and I'm having a hard time letting it go.

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  14. The ability to forgive is actually a virtue. It isn't easy, but so much of it, is for yourself because it helps to create an inner feeling of relief and healing.

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  15. Forgiveness is something we have deal everyday and should be towards others but us too. A lot of people don't forgive themselves and this is necessary for a better life.

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  16. Great article, Forgiveness can definitely be a difficult thing to do.

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  17. Wow, this was a great read. Thank you!

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  18. My biggest problem is forgiving myself. I am learning, it’s a slow progress but getting there.

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  19. Interesting article about forgiveness. One thing I know is it all starts with forgiving ourselves then the rest will do

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  20. Forgiveness is hard. It's one of those things I've had to learn how to do over the years. But, as I've told other people, forgiveness isn't always about the other person or the wrong doing against you being forgotten. It's a way of releasing yourself from the anger and hatred that wrong doing has caused.

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  21. Forgiveness is the first step to true healing. Thank you for sharing!

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  22. Forgiveness is hard. It has taken me a long time to forgive some people who have wronged me. Thank you for sharing!

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  24. Forgiveness is healing. Especially for self let go of grudges.

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